For the past 17-days my boyfriend and I have been tirelessly searching for a new apartment. It’s common knowledge that moving is already taxing, but when you’re looking with someone else—and their dog—the whole hoopla becomes a shit-ton more exhausting and difficult. While going through the extreme ups and downs of house hunting with my partner I have learned a few crucial lessons that will definitely come in handy for the next move, as well as in my day-to-day life as one-half of a romantical duo. It’s amazing how many things you just don’t have to deal with when you’re solo, and I know that sounds really obvious but when you’re primarily trained to think with the single side of the brain it’s hard to negotiate, compromise, and be patient—you know those relationship-phobe dirty words that make you shiver in your stilettos? Yeah, those. (Shudder.)
Well after numerous fights, and a great deal of verbal and emotional pushing and pulling, I came to terms with the fact that it’s way more important to make peace and balance in my relationship than it is to be right all the time. This was a MAJOR first for me. In the past every battle was worth fighting, my word had to be the last one, and my stubbornness was unparalleled. Was it any surprise I was perennially single? I think not.
So like it was a sign shot straight from the partnership gods in the universe, when I started to drop the defensive tactics and put down the emotional daggers there was an instantaneous shift. The disagreements were no longer heated, the ice-cold resentment melted away to reveal intimacy, and the hurtful words became soft kisses. From that moment on I became convinced of the fact that when it comes to a coupling the energy you put forth is going to be the exact energy that is matched. Call it romantic karma, call it common sense, but holy shit it works. The proof is in the pistachio pudding, my friends.
Oh, and yeah we found an apartment. And believe you me, after learning these crucial lessons of Relationship 101 it will be a far happier home.
xx HEK